Thoughts on being in your 30's

DEPRESSION This is maybe one of the most difficult topics for me to talk about, because no one likes to talk about the worst time of their life. I believe there is a cliche regarding this disease and yes I do think it is a disease.  For the longest time I told myself I was just sad. That I will get better and that everything will just work itself out. I just needed time to get over this sad time in my life and that I will get through it. I didn't allow myself to cry, I would tell myself to be strong for everyone else and so I didn't grieve. That only made it worse. Months later all I could think about was ending it all. Being around people was terrifying and horrible. All I felt was this darkness in my soul, surrounding me day and night and it felt like I was going to infect others with this darkness that consumed me. And still I didn't ask for help. I didn't allow myself to cry because I thought I would fall apart not realizing that I was already fallin...

Who will save you? I believe nobody is going to save you, we are who we choose to be and if we need saving we need to save ourselves. Nobody in this world is just going to give you what you need. You are going to have to go out there and fight for or work hard for that what you want.  In the end nobody knows what you want except you. You know what you want and need and you have to go and get it. If you sit back and wait for whoever to come along and give you your dreams, you will be sorry.  You will be sorry that all the chances you had to make that dream a reality you wasted on hoping for your "prince charming" or "miracle worker" to save you or hand you that job or give you the money or car. Sitting back and waiting or feeling sorry for yourself for not having things fall in your lap makes you weak. It makes you complacent.  No one owes you anything but you owe it to yourself to get up and fight for what you want. Stand up and shake off that f...

So I'm turning thirty five this year and I realized a few things this last few months.  One thing about being in your thirties is your tolerance for bullshit goes waaayyyy down. I find it better to just give people the look, you know the look that says I'm listening, but no way you're hearing anything that comes out of their mouth. Or you nod, smile and turn around and roll our eyes.  Sometimes I think I might just roll my eyes and vanish into another dimension. Some days I think being in your thirties means it's all downhill from now. Okay so I do go home after work and would much better put on my pajamas and sit on the couch watching some TV show that long ago lost it's appeal, eat something unhealthy than doing anything constructive. But that doesn't necessarily mean you're youth is over and your fun gene has died a slow and painful death... I recently found that you can still have a lot of fun. No, I won't go into any details b...