Thoughts on being in your 30's

ADOPTION There are an estimated 3.7 million orphans in South Africa and  150,000 children  are believed to be living in child-headed households.  There is an estimated 3 000 babies abandoned in South Africa each year. These statistics breaks my heart.  Now I have this question: Why does the government (and private institutions) make it so difficult AND expensive to adopt a baby/child. I am a 36 year old single woman and I have inquired about adopting. This has been a dream of mine since I was a young girl, you see my mom grew up in an orphanage. She had a mom and dad but because of family issues she had to grow up in an orphanage with her some of her siblings. When I started my inquiry I was so excited I was ready and I was willing to give it all to this child I want to adopt. To give someone the love and care and attention that their biological parent couldn't or wouldn't give them. Soon I was disappointed in what I heard and read.  It is so expensive to ad

HOLDING OUT HOPE Everyone always tells you to just keep believing. Hold out hope and be strong. Well in the face of what you're going through that isn't always that easy.  I've looked up the meaning of hope.  " a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen";  These past couple of weeks for me has been hard. I've gone through a few things and I've realized there is only one person always there, me. It's hard to hope for something when you can't see the end picture. When you don't know how the story will end.  How do you keep that expectation alive in the face of the circumstances around you. When you can't see a way out or a way through. You want to trust and believe but it's hard when it seems impossible. How do you trust through the pain of past experiences? I've read recently that pain is real but so is hope. Hope is being optimistic of what is to come. Or what you hope is to come i

LOVE YOURSELF So I have been struggling with this topic for a while now. How to love yourself when there's so many "things" that's telling you how wrong you are. I was over weight for a very long time. There are people that has no problem with that, then there's the ones who completely ruin you. In those times it was the hardest to love myself. Why haven't people figured out how harsh their words can be and how much damage they can do. I have learned that nobody's opinion matters but my own! If I feel beautiful in a mini skirt with my big thighs or big ankles, then to hell with everyone. I love wearing dresses and I do not want to wear a dress that hangs on my ankles and covers me like a table cloth. Two reasons, it's too hot sometimes and I love my Owl Tattoo on my calve. I like to show off what I feel is beautiful. I used to be afraid to wear the clothes I love because of what people might say or maybe I didn't look like another w

CONTRACEPTION Or as I like to call it "a woman's painful way of being safe" against pregnancy. There are a few options we have not to get pregnant or get a nasty disease. Most of them involve only the female species. I like to talk about things that I've been through myself, so here is my story. I starting using the 2 month injection and in the beginning it worked fine. I was happy with not having to go through my menstrual cycle and the pain and discomfort that brings so on I went. After a few shots I started getting my period for weeks and weeks at a time but I listened to my nurse when she told me to push through. Don't be afraid to go for a second maybe even a third opinion if what you're using isn't working for you.  Well I got fed up. I went to someone else who gave me the implant option and I took it. So while it wasn't sore when they "implanted" the little thing it does hurt afterwards when the life comes back. Apparen